Lord

Dear Lord
I am selfish
So this prayer will also be selfish
Take away this sadness
This warmth at the back of my head, make it go away before my salty droplets come. I tell you, I want to cry so badly. But the thing stopping me is the swollen eyelids I will have when I wake tomorrow early for my stupid useless class.
Dear Lord, take away this dead stillness in me. This vortex of death swallowing me by the second.
Dear Lord, I want to fucking love myself. I don’t know, dear Lord… Does this boil down to how insecure I am?Dear Lord, I am a coward. And you know it cause I am talking to You through a tiny cold metal device.
I dare say that I dare not face you. I guess mom is right. I guess I am one of the many that take things for granted. And then, another one of the many to self-comfort myself that I am not the only one that does so.
Dear Lord, I am shameless. I dare not talk to you but I want your help, I need you during this dire period of my life.
Dear Lord, good night. You need not answer my selfish prayer.
Dear Lord, I don’t know if you believe me or if this is genuine enough or credible enough but, I am sorry.

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